What is it With Jam Bands? Or, My Night at the Allman Brothers Concert

OK, before you get all up ins about taking it for granted, I had a good time. It was an excellent concert. I know I will never see 2 more talented guitarists than Warren Haynes and Derek Trucks on stage together (thanks to The Saint for pointing that out). I know I am lucky to have seen them. I am happy to say I have seen the Allman Brothers in concert. But, it's not me. I've learned, since meeting The Saint, that I don't like jam bands. Those are bands that play endlessly, just jamming with each other as if no one else was around, even though there are other people around, people that paid good money to hear the shit that's on the radio, dammit. Lyrics? Eh, maybe, if they feel like it. Mostly it's just guitarists playing with each other. Like Phish, or the Grateful Dead. (Although my real problem with the Dead is that they sound like a cat being sucked into a turbine engine)

I know it's about the music, man; it's about the feeling and the soul, man; it's about the way the music speaks to me, man...but it only says 'bathroom break' to me. I don't want to hear a bunch of guys jerk each other off on stage, musically speaking. (Or literally. Ew) I don't want to hear the 33-minute instrumental The Saint listens to at the gym as an encore. It's not even about the style of music. I've seen Government Mule a bunch of times, and I like a few songs I've heard from The Derek Trucks Band. I just don't like the endless guitar, the long, drawn out chords that go on forever and rarely ever resolve and sound like the musicians are conducting weird experiments and using the audience as guinea pigs. And most of the audience is so stoned they go along for the ride, even if it's long and repetitious.

There is music that speaks to me, music that can bring me to tears and fill me with absolute joy, but it ain't jam music. I'd rather go see Victor Calderone. (That's a trick. He's a DJ. I'd have to go to a club to see him, and I stand a better chance of dragging The Saint to see "Jersey Boys" than a nightclub) I'd rather see U2, who I hear are playing Giants Stadium in September. (hint hint!!) Snake River Conspiracy, The Crystal Method, Scorpio Rising, The Cure, Jimmy Buffett, George Strait, to name a few. That music speaks to me. (Wow, is that not the most bizarre combination of musical styles?)

I'm sorry  Skydog. I hear you, but I just can't understand what you're trying to say.

Random Thought of the Day #4

Why do cars have parking lights? You know, those yellow lights between the brake lights and backup lights. You're supposed to put them on when you're parked on the road. But it's illegal to park on the road. And if you are parking on the road, you put your hazards on. So why are parking lights even an option? It's a dangerous place, that limbo between on and off. You think you've got your lights on, but really you're stuck in parking light purgatory, and you can't tell because the dashboard lights are lit, and people are flashing their lights at you, and you're thinking "what the hell is your problem, you asshole!!", and you finally figure out your lights aren't on when you're turning into your driveway, and experience the burning embarrassment of knowing that you are the asshole.


For the record, I am not the asshole; I passed said asshole on the FDR drive last night.