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| This is my "what the fuck do you want" face. |
I wonder, would I be friends with these people "in real life"? If the Girl with the purple hair was not just an avatar, but a neighbor, would we even speak? Or would we pass each other on the sidewalk without a second glance? If the single mom dropped her toddler off at daycare the same time I did, would we chat? Would we laugh over coffee? If I shared the same doctor with the British man and his wife trying so desperately to conceive, would I even know it? Obviously, I don't know the answers for sure. But I would guess, sadly, no.
It's not that whole 'books and their covers' thing, not really. It's not about judging someone's appearance; it's more about knowing, right off the bat, if there is something about that person that would interest you in the slightest. Like online dating. You can't tell much about a person by their picture; but the way they speak (write), and what they speak (write) about speaks volumes. When a person passes you on the street, all you see is their, well, picture. You don't know what's going on in that teeny little brain of theirs. It could be very similar to what's going on in your teeny little brain at that precise moment. Then again it could also be about the upcoming bar exam. And let's face it, nobody cares about another lawyer up in here. But you don't know, so you just keep on walking.
I would guess, like in online dating, the online friendships can sometimes turn out to be awkward in real life. But I haven't met any of the bloggers I've been stalking, so I can't attest to that.
What do you think? Would we be friends in "real life"? Or would you kick my dog and take my lunch money?
Just FYI: you could kick the dog. But the lunch money? Your ass would be grass.
There is one blogger who I consider a very good friend in real life. We've never met, but we do talk on the phone. Would I become as good of friends with everyone in my reader? Probably not. But I hope I have the chance with at least a few!
ReplyDeletei'm pretty close with a few of my bloggy friends. at least one, i count as one of my bfs...here's what i've discovered: when you reach out and they reach out too, and you often find yourself saying things like, "i totally know what you're sayin'," it's pretty much ON and impossible to turn off.
ReplyDeletesome could say that living in the blogosphere is unhealthy or avoidant of society but personally, i've found so much love, support, camaraderie that there's no way i could go back to NOT trying to make real friends. just me, though. no pressure.
thanks for popping up on my radar, lady - we share the same 'the fuck are YOU looking at' face.
In general I try to avoid dog kicking.... and it would depend on how much lunch money there was... I mean, are we talking a Micky D's stop? or some sushi? ;)
ReplyDeleteThe one thing that I like about bloggin above all other things is that fact that appearance is not only not everything, it's nothing. In order to like a blogger you have to like his/her words.
Having said that, in a sense it's not all that different from meeting a person IRL. When you first come to a blog, if they first post you read doesn't grab you, or the layout turns you off, are you going to come back for more? Probably not... unless you're desperate, bored, or feeling extremely generous. Same with meeting a person, say at a day care drop off. Are you going to want to hang out and get a coffee with someone you don't k now, don't like the look of and are bored by on an initial first impression? Probably not.. unless you're desperate, bored or feeling incredibly generous.
same same.
I've never actually met any of the bloggers I like. I know one personally, but I've known her my whole life and our blog-o-sphere relationship is just a cherry on top. I'd love, at some point, to get the chance to meet bloggy buddies. I mean, if you can get along with someone so well when all you can judge each other on is their words and thoughts, why wouldn't it work in person?
BTW, in case you didn't check back at my place yesterday, I left you a message in the comments section, Pot.
My theory is that friends in real life sometimes exist out of geographic necessity. But online, you can find people who say or do things that make you laugh or think or cry and you find yourself understanding them more. Online, you're able to choose your friends based on their brains and personalities, which means that the chances of liking them in person are extremely high.
ReplyDeleteWhat Avitable said!
ReplyDeleteHoneybell: I think you'll end up meeting peeps. Especially if you end up at TequilaCon or BlogHer or some such thing.
ReplyDeleteZoeyjane: I think you've got a point about the correlation between bloggy friends and making friends "IRL". And about our 'fuck do you want, bitch' faces
CableGirl: I suppose online friendships are NOT like online dating, since sex isn't in the equation. Or is it....??
Avitable: I was going to point to TequilaCon as an example of cyber comraderie working IRL, but I was too damn lazy to look up your links
Erika: Yea, Avitable's good like that. ;-)
Ditto Avitable.
ReplyDeleteI started blogging because there was almost no one within my actual reach who had kids my kids' ages and who was accessible and thinky and fun. I have fabulous IRL friends, but most of them live very very far away. And although I have a couple of close friends where I live now, you can't see the same person IRL every day when you need your daily dose of grown-up connection because no one has that much time to get together daily (unless they live next door to each other). But with bloggy friends, you can see them every single day if you want, or skip a few days, or visit at 3am when the baby is keeping you awake, and your visits always only make them smile and never inconvenience them because they "visit back" to read your comments when they are ready to do so.
I do think that I'd be really good friends IRL with some of my bloggy buddies -- and perhaps some of thenm would be too witty in person to hag out with my less flashy person. But that's okay too.
Hey,
ReplyDeleteI can be your real life blogging friend that you'd actually know if you ran into for some reason.
I have a blog addiction problem. According to Google Reader, who is my dealer, I am currently reading 258 blogs a month. I know about a third of them in real life and the rest are just people I like to read.
I love all my friends blogs best of all because they give me a much deeper insight into what they're thinking than I usually get in our day to day passing conversations.
Speaking of readers, for some reason you were on my other account so I haven't visited lately, grrr!
ReplyDeleteVery interesting post; I think that you can likely get to know someone a lot quicker from their blog; I've met some bloggy friends IRL, and then an IRL friend started blogging when she went away, and feels that she knows me so much better since she started reading my blog.
Love the face ;)
Firstly, I HAVE to declare, I'm not British!
ReplyDeleteI'm Irish, there is a difference ;0)
Interesting idea, I think there are subsets of your readers/bloggers you read that you WOULD click with instantly, others, no.
I 'know' for eg that there are 3 or 4 readers I would really get along with.
Online, I can be 'choosier', and it works!
If you shared the same doctor as me, you'd know, trust me!