Sweet dreams

"Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite!" How many times in your life have you heard that? It's practically a fundamental part of childhood, a cutesy way to say goodnight. Have you ever seen a bed bug? Do you know what they do? It's so not cutesy. It's the polar opposite of cutesy, you couldn't get farther from cutesy if you tried. Our exterminator told me (our garage has termites, not bedbugs, don't get excited) they've seen a serious jump in the number of people with bedbugs in the past two years. And in really nice, classy, million-dollar homes, too. Obviously not ours. I didn't realize bedbugs are that snobbish.

Or that conservative. Apparently, Fox News Channel ended up with a small infestation because somebody -- unbeknownst to them, I'm sure -- brought the nasty little creatures in, and they latched on to everybody in their pod. (It was Studio B's pod, if anyone asks) And nobody told me. I heard about it third-hand, as office gossip, from someone who read it on a TV

news gossip website. On a gossip site. And then, The frickin New York Times picked up the story! The NEW YORK TIMES. Writing about bed bugs at Fox News Channel. Talk about a slow news day. Anyway, all the carpeting and chairs had to be replaced, and get this: OSHA (yes, the OSHA) sent exterminators to the homes of 20 employees, and one person had the worst infestation the exterminator had seen in 25 years, he said. Ew, bro. Don't believe me? Here's the link

You have seriously got to read all of the posts. Especially the newest one -- apparently Hot Shot insecticides is offering its product to guests who have been in the studio. You can't make this shit up.

I have a small red bump on my ankle. It looks like a bite. Does anybody have any Calomine? I'm real itchy all of a sudden.