Does anyone know how to do the Loco-motion? I mean, seriously. You know the song. We all know the song. You would've had to have been living under a rock with your head up your ass not to know the song. But the song is about a dance. Do you know how to do the dance? The instructions are right there in the damn song.
You gotta swing your hips now/Come on baby, jump up, jump back/
Well I think you got the knack/Woah, woah
Um, no. I don't have the knack, and I bet my right tit that you don't either. Seriously now, tell me, have you ever been to a dance party/club/rave where someone was doing the Loco-motion? Christ, Kylie Minogue did a cover of the damn thing. Does she know how to do the Loco-motion?
If history has shown us anything, songs about dances are stupid. The Loco-motion, The Twist, The Hokey-Pokey, Electric Slide, Humpty Dance, Macarena... I think I've made my point.
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Go ahead, validate me. You know you want to, you enabler.