Playing Catch-up

I was eating a turkey club with french fries the other day at a tiny diner outside of Jersey City, waiting for my ketchup to come out of the frickin bottle, when I realized I haven't seen a ketchup commercial in a long time. I mean, a really long time. In fact, I can't remember the last time I saw a commercial for any type of condiment, with the exception of A1 sauce. What's up? Not that I need to be subliminally persuaded by a $35 million commercial to go out and buy something to accompany my burger. But, I mean, is the condiment industry in such dire straits they need to save money by yanking all their commercials? Is there some sort of mustard shortage I'm not aware of? Is relish going the way of the dodo? And when was the last time you saw a pickle commercial? There are some new pickles out there that are seriously awesome -- like the tobasco kind. Ever had one? I highly recommend them. My theory is that the condiment executives are just biding their time, waiting for the right moment to suddenly saturate the market with hundreds of ketchup commercials -- like the calm before the storm, or the way the ocean draws back before a tidal wave -- Memorial Day weekend, the unofficial beginning of summer, and grilling season. Hold on to your wallets, people. You may suddenly feel the urge to go ketchup crazy. Consider yourself warned.