Dear Ticketmaster: Suck It!

I have always hated Ticketmaster , but this just seals the deal. We (4 of us, with a total of 6 computers, in 2 different states) logged on to get Springsteen tickets the exact second they went on sale. None of us could get through. We got this message: "Our ticketing system is currently unavailable due to routine maintenance". Routine maintenance? At 9am when tickets for 20 different shows go on sale? What the fuck is that?? Needless to say, we didn't get tickets. I emailed to ask what the fuck happened. Here's what I got: 

Thank you for contacting us. We regret any inconvenience you may have experienced. When a popular event goes on sale, such as Bruce Springsteen, there are literally hundreds and sometimes thousands of customers simultaneously attempting to purchase tickets across all distribution channels. Like any limited commodity, tickets are sold as long as seats are available, and sometimes they go quickly. If 500 fans are simultaneously buying four tickets each, 2,000 tickets can be sold in a matter of seconds! It's the same reason why a typical 18,000-seat arena can sell out in a few minutes.

When a well-known and talented artist schedules live performances, invariably the demand for the finite number of tickets increases dramatically. This was clearly demonstrated in the case of your selected event. 

Thank you for using Ticketmaster, where we continually strive to provide World Class Service to every customer, every day! We very much appreciate your business, and hope we were able to resolve any problems or answer any questions you had. Please reply to this email if we may be of further assistance.

So you're telling me that 9 gazillion Springsteen fans logged on at the exact same time and crashed the system? OK, let's go with that. Then why didn't the entire system crash? Just for shits and giggles, I tried getting tickets for other Springsteen shows in the area: Nassau Coliseum, Hartford...I got the good old "can't find tickets sucka" message. (Duh. It was 9:10 at that point) So why did my particular concert venue crash and burn? BOTH shows. Trying to get tickets for either show gave you the same error message. Huh.


Wait, wait, it gets better! In my letter I made mention of the fact that there are tickets available on Ticketmaster's "sister sites", marked up to ridiculous prices. Check this bullshit:

Ticketmaster does not, as a matter of practice nor specifically in this instance, remove seats from general availability in order place them in resale on TicketsNow... The tickets you reference having been listed on TicketsNow may have been acquired in pre-sale or in the general on-sale by individual fans, as well as some tickets brokers. TicketsNow is a safe and secure digital domain that provides support for the secondary ticket marketplace. Neither Ticketmaster nor TicketsNow own the tickets listed. Tickets are sold at current market rates, meaning they are priced based on the demand for tickets. 

See that last part there, the "current market rates" part? So...let's assume Ticketmaster does not own the tickets on its sister sites. Say it really is just a safe domain for the "secondary ticket marketplace". Secondary tickets...that means someone has them and is trying to sell them. Market rates based on demand...that means tickets are sold at a higher rate because people are desperate for them. Let's see...that would be, uh, wait, it's on the tip of my tongue oh yeah SCALPING. Ticketmaster is, in effect, providing scalpers with a safe, anonymous, and legal way to bend unlucky fans over the barrel. How forward-thinking of them.


Sadly, the average fan has no recourse here. Ticketmaster is virtually the only way to buy tickets for concerts, sporting events, hell, even the circus. You can't even get tickets at stadium websites anymore. They direct you to Ticketmaster. The company has a monopoly on ticket sales, and we have no choice but to bend to its will...or the will of its "sister sites".


Of course, we could all screw scalpers and TicketsNow by refusing to buy secondary tickets. Those fuckers would lose money instead of turning a profit, since they've got tickets nobody's willing to buy. But that will never happen. Why? Because we're fans. We live for the game, the music, the show. That's what fans do.


You know the very very very best part? If you go to the website, Bruce Springsteen is right there on the front page "tickets on sale now!". Seriously? Suck it. Just suck it.