It's All About Me. Somehow.

My friend's 30th birthday ended up being all about me. And I don't exactly remember if that's my fault swear it's not my fault. It didn't start out that way. It was a lovely surprise party, perfectly executed and held at an elegant, historic hotel in my hometown. (And I swear to God there is not a picture of me hammered anywhere on that site) But as the evening wore on, and several bottles of wine were mysteriously emptied, it became about me. I was sitting at a table with old friends from high school, gossiping talking about those glory days, and waxing drunk-o-sophical about how some people refuse to let it go and live in the now...when suddenly we're discussing how fabulous I am. I shit you not.


A woman I was, well, not exactly friends with, but was not rejected by in high school, told me when she walked in that she told her husband I was "the most brilliant girl in school". Am I at the right party? What just happened? And then she told me I've turned into a "beautiful woman" with something something something (the memory is a little vino tinto-colored there, if you know what I mean). Whatever. Point is, people think highly of me. I think they even respect me a little. Tee hee! How little they know! I am a moron, people. Complete and utter. I can barely string 2 words together to express basic human need -- 'I'm hungry', 'I'm thirsty', 'I'm poopie' -- let alone remember the things you are giving me accolades for. I was quoted in a newspaper at the age of 11? Really? You'd think I'd remember that shit. I won an Emmy? AHA! Gotcha there! I didn't win an Emmy, and I know that shit because the sting is just 3 years fresh. But thanks for ripping the scab off that one. Appreciate it.


Here's the thing. I was smart. I was creative. I was a total nerd. But brilliant? Well, brilliance would be taking what you have and running with it. Brilliance is overcoming your fears and insecurities to accomplish your dream. Brilliance is actually knowing what the hell your dream is, or at least doing everything humanly possible to figure it out. Brilliant, I am not. I've never been able to overcome my insecurities and fears to reach whatever possibility was out there for me. So I guess as we gossiped and griped about those people at the next table who need to grow up, we were talking about me, too.


See? Told ya. It is all about me.