1984

I know it's been a while since my last post, but to be honest, I'm a little nervous about it. Government computers are monitored very closely, you know...as well as the phones. It's a little unnerving, to tell you the truth. I'm being watched...and therefore, so are you. Today I got my Pentagon badge. I swear there is a government conspiracy to make you look as disgusting as they possibly can in official photos. Seriously. It's a federal government thing, not a local government thing. My driver's license photo is awesome. I look happy and relaxed, smiling, and you can see the background, as well as my shoulders. In the federal IDs, they do an extreme close-up under a refridgerator lightbulb. No exaggeration here. In this photo, you can't even see my ears! It's that close. I have this horrible grimace, although I could have sworn I was smiling when they snapped the picture. It is the absolute worst representation of me ever taken. The only thing that rivals its hideousness, is my Capitol Hill pass. Again, a federal ID. And again, extreme closeup. Maybe it's because they don't want you flashing that thing around in public, to draw attention to yourself and your connection to the federal government. Well guys, in the words of our illustrious commander-in-chief: mission accomplished!